Posts (page 2)

San Pedro de la Laguna in Guatemala is like an alternate universe, like fantasy land for backpackers. Yes it is nice, very relaxing and there are plenty of various substances available for you in many different forms of consumption. But for me the novelty wore off after a couple days.

Met some very interesting people. This Swedish guy that told us he used to be so poor that him and his friends would get drunk then drink their pee because they thought it would get them more drunk, which Im not sure is true or not. Then he told us he also sticks tampons soaked in vodka up his ass and that gets to ridicuously drunk. That leaded to a pretty lengthy discussion about tampons and the easiest way to stick them up your ass. Interesting night.

There have been plenty of very strange things happening lately but to be honest I cant remember any of them right now so you will just have to take my word for it.

In the beach town of Monterrico, Guatemala there is a HUGE problem roaming the streets. Fat dirty pigs with their vaginas hanging out. This is no laughing matter, I personally am offended by all the vaginas I have seen strutting down the street, rolling in the dirt or rubbing themselves against a tree trunk. Also, pig sex is probably the most disgusting and painful of all the animal,mammal sexual encounters.

Another concern of mine is for the poor unfortunate female dogs who have apparently been pregnant far too many times with their nipples overly stretched and saggy to the ground.

And dog owners please note, neuter your dogs. Seeing those things swinging back and forth could cause an accident.

Animal genitials everywhere.

There was a festival here in Antigua last night. The Burning of the Devil. Seriously the name of it. No one seemed to know the reason why they do it. There was an article about it in the paper and I started to read it but felt to sick to think in spanish but from what I understand of the first couple paragraphs its been going on for years but today people have forgotten its significance and its become something for the tourists. Helpful. The devil itself was pretty small, only like a meter, maybe a meter and a half in height. It was so packed with people that I only saw it from a distance but the greatest, or stupidest, part of the whole thing was that it was set up beside 2 gas stations. Great place for a large fire really. After this guy with some cage like thing over him started running around with fireworks flying in every directions and people running out of the way. The fireworks were literally exploding beside the gas tanks. Genius. I guess people said something about the safety of the location, so for the days leading up to the big burn the devil was right infront of the gas stations but for the burning they moved it like 100meters back, which totally makes it ok. There was a fire truck near by, at least someone was thinking.

This clown went on stage afterwards and was singing in english with kids dancing on the stage with him. It was more entertaining than the burning thing.

Thursday morning I snuck out of school and came to Antigua to see Dana. I couldn´t deal with my ¨teacher¨ so no more spanish classes, just as well. 
Antigua is ridicously pretty, the cobblestone streets remind me of being back in Cusco but its cold just not THAT cold.
Couldn´t deal with the cold of Xela. I like cold weather but without snow it just seems pointless. And when there is snow it somehow feels less cold to me, anyway.
Went to the markets around here the other day and bought not a Dana amount of stuff, but enough that I need to send it home but after checking my bank balanca that will be the end of my market days. Damn foreign currency conversion thing is eating all my money. That and I keep thinking in american dollars and I need to realize the Canadian dollar ain´t doing so hot right now.

Yesterday decided last minute to climb Pacaya. Awesomeness. People will going on and on about how hard it was and blah blah blah, apparently I am more hardcore or fit or something because it really wasn´t all that bad at all. And HOLY LAVA. It was so so hot, the soles of my shoes and my toes started to get too hot from standing on the rocks. People were roasting marshmellows, lighting cigarettes in the lava, throwing their walking sticks in and watching it burn. The view was amazing too, watching sunset from the volcano. Walking back in the dark was interesting. Really glad I went.

I came to see Dana to go to the beach in El Salvador for a week or so but after 4 days that has yet to happen. Hopefully tomorrow, I need a beach. And to get rid of my cold.

So I moved into the school today. The room I have is massive and unessacary. Its up these tiny stairs and far from the bathroom but it is massive with lots of blankets and a decent pillow.

There aren´t many people at the school so Im still pretty much on my own. If I wasn´t so damn lazy I could have looked for the school I originally planned on going to that was bigger and more social but whats done is done. I can deal with the quiet and such but I asked for a female teacher because Im just more comfortable with them, I´ve had male teachers in the past try to have inapproriate conversations and I just really don´t feel like putting up with that. So what do I get a male teacher. A male teacher who is not the least bit interested in teaching. He is sarcastic as hell making all these sly comments about the government and such not which all I understand because surprise I don`t know everything about Central American politics then he chuckles to himself like he´s the funniest shit around. He actually answered his phone which I guessed was his girlfriend because he kept whispering ¨no ahora amor, mi amor, mi amor, estoy en clase, te dige a las 1030, mi amor. ok ok ok te quiero amor, te quiero, te quiero mucho.¨ That was fun. I think he just doesnt know what to teach me either, because I´ve learnt everything I just want a review and practice and such. I have all the rules and tenses written in my book from Ecuador and he was basically just repeating everything so I realized if I was more motivated I could probably just study the notes I already have but at least this forces me to speak for 4 hours a day.

He marked me as Advanced spanish, which I dont really agree with though its nice to know.

Guatemala is interesting. Very different than the rest of Central America. I ate what they apparently consider steak here for lunch today, not so enjoyable but at least my jaw got a good workout.

I am bored. Which is partly my fault really. I could have gone to a market or some small village today but instead I sat in the hostel until 1 then walked around for an hour then came to use the internet. Now I´m just waiting until I can go to the park and get some dinner. Favourite new Guatemala food - these little tortillas that they cook then put ground meat of some kind and a bit of tomato sauce then topped with salad and spicy sauce, which in Guatemala is apparently just massive slices of jalapeños. That plus a deepfried something stuffed with beans and plantain has been my dinner.

I was entertained my first few days by the group of people staying at the hostel but they all left this morning. Last night a big group of us went to the mall here which was a reminder that its Christmas and I am so glad I am not at home and working and having to listen to christmas songs all day. We thought this new Russell Crowe movie was out but its not playing here yet and James Bond just finished playing so we decided on Max Payne. Interesting choice. Not an interesting movie. ¨Not yet Max¨.

Tomorrow Im starting spanish classes so at least 4 hours of my day will be taken plus maybe an hour of homework. Im staying at the school/hostel in a private room starting tomorrow and theres a little TV area and all I really want to do is drink endless cups of tea, under my two sweaters, leg warmers, scarf and three blankets for warmth. I thought I needed a break from the heat but that was in fact false.

Taking a cold shower when its hot is much more enjoyable than taking a possibly hot shower when it is so cold you can´t bear the idea of taking off your clothes and know that the fact you turn the water off you will be freezing again.
Just in case you were wondering.

Rita left me tuesday to go back to Panama. Sad day I really like that Portugese lady.
I went back to Leon, just to avoid taking the bus to Guatemala from Managua, because it is seriously a shit hole. Possibly the worlds ugliest capital?

Hopefully Nicaragua won´t go back to war though lots of people seem to want to. Saw some demonstrations in the streets but none of my buses were stoned anyway. Yay.

Spent the night in San Salvador, El Salvador wednesday. Was too tired to bother checking out the city at all though Im fairly certain there wasn´t much to see. The Tica bus was in a super sketch area of town so I opted for taking a taxi to a hostel that was near this massive commercial shopping centre. Huge contrast.

Got to Guatemala City thursday morning, MASSIVE. Fucking huge city. Seems alright though. The areas I saw anyway. As far as Central American cities go. I was going to apply for a job there but now I´m thinking going home when I planned is probably going to win over another 3 months longer in Guatemala. 8 months in Central America seems to be about my limit.

Proceeded to take another bus 5 hours from the city to Xela which was brutal. Traffic and breathing in the fumes of construction the entire way. Xela is also a lot bigger than I was expeting and FREEZING. This morning I could see my breath. Its freshing in a way to not be sweating. I had to go buy another sweater today and some long pants to sleep in. After sending all my warm clothes home I was sick of carrying around. Fantastic Kristin.

1. Nicaragua is apparently the safest country in Central America. I haven´t had my life threatened yet so I guess it bets Panama.
2. Everyone here has fake teeth. You do not want to have to go to the dentist in Nicaragua.
3. I weighed myself outside of the supermarket the other day and I haven´t gained a ridiculous amount of weight like I thought I did though I´m pretty sure all of those 5lbs came from sitting on my ass and drinking in Panama.
4. I milked a cow! Successfully!
5. Nicos like country and english music. A lot.
6. Dale Pues is my new favourite spanish saying.
7. Nicaragua is the more interesting country I´ve been to as of yet.
8. It is also the dirtiest country and the streets smell of burning garbage and dust burns your eyes and nose constantly.
9. LOUD MUSIC
10. Bathrooms have no sinks?
11. Toilet seat, ok to sit, no toilet seat, work those quads. Though I´m pretty sure its never really ok to sit.
12. Playboy bunny stickers can often be found beside Jesus stickers on buses.
13. Men will whistle at you even sitting in a church.
14. Toña and Victoria are my favourite names for national beers
15. Talked to some girls on Big Corn Island, asked if they went to school and one girl told me her mom won´t let her go anymore because she pood. Seriously.

I understand why people fly to the Corn Islands now. I wanted to save money by going by land but ended up flying to Big Corn from Bluefields anyway. First we didn´t even realize the boat only leaves once a week so we were lucky it was the day after we got to Bluewwfields. After sitting on the boat for 3 hours they decide, nope we aren´t leaving today because the weather is too bad, maybe tomorrow. The thought of spending an entire day more in what has now become my number one hated city, yes it is even more disgusting than Buffalo, brought me to panic. There were some other backpackers and they decided they didnt want to wait either, because seriously Bluefields is a sweltering shit hole, so out of a hasty unrational decision I paid 65$ to fly from Bluewwwfields to Big Corn, leaving poor Rita who can´t afford to spend that kind of money and wait for the $10 boat the next day. Had I thought about it another hour more I probably would have waited as well, but seriously, Shit. Hole. Then I lost Rita. I thought we decided to meet at the dock in Little Corn friday morning, but she thought it was the dock on Big Corn, anyway finally Sunday morning she found me and all was fine.

I was a bit disappointed with the islands. People say amazing things about them, and yes they are goregous but there isnt much of a beach there and unless you take a dive course, there really isnt anything to do. I thought San Blas was a lot nicer. So basically for a week I woke up at 6 or 7. Had breakfast, read, walked pretty much around the entire island, browned myself and swam. Then was to bed at like 7 or 8. It was the most relaxing time, especially after the pain in the ass it was to get there.

Food took forever, even my gallo pinto breakfast with a coffee would take an hour. I did not understand this. And the pinto there was made with coconut juice, not good. Costa Rica wins the pinto contest.

Coming back from the islands we spent the night in Rama. Ate delicious corn tortillas with this Nica cheese, which is SO much better than squeaky Tico cheese. It was kinda like feta, nice a salty, and delish pork. And this is the reason for my ever enlarging ass.

I was so excited to have a good nights sleep after the death beds and mosquitos on the islands but no luck. Men were on the street yelling at each other all night, because Latinos might just be louder than my Italian family. Then at 4am began the most painfully, maddening sound from these birds in the tree outside our window. Gah. No words can even explain it.

The bus I took to Nicaragua was the nicest bus I have ever been on. PLUS we were sitting in the wheelchair accessible seats so had even extra leg room, it was amazing.

Went straight to Isla Ometepe. Amazing island. Meet this guy on the lancha that has a hostel on the other side of the island so he drove us over there for free. Really cute cabinas right near the lake. They have a tv there was satielite and such. The night we got there though they put on VH1 and we watched Rock of Love 2. Normally I can´t stand even a second of reality shows like that but I sat there for the whole hour glued to the screen completely mezmorized. People were talking beside me but I was not feeling conversation I just wanted to watch tv, it was nice for a change.

The next day we hiked up the Volcano a bit, not the whole way to the lagoon which Im sure is amazing, just to a viewpoint where you can see either side of the lake and a beautiful view of the other volcano. I didn´t eat breakfast before hand and had little water....which wasn´t a good idea, but I made it. There are no signs for the path so we got a bit lost but there were a lot of locals coming down from collecting and planting beans and one guy took us to where we needed to go. the Nicos have been really nice so far. Our taxi driver in Costa Rica that took us to the bus terminal when we told him we were going to Nicaragua the only thing he said was Se matan gente alla. Which sure may be true but each country is SO opposed to the other here it´s crazy. The Ticos don´t like the Nicos. The Panamians don´t like the Ticos. Personally I didn´t like the Panamaians too much.

Monday we left Ometepe and spent FAR too much time traveling

First a pick up to the road to get a bus to the boat, the bus, the boat, a bus to Managua, a taxi to the terminal. At the terminal we had to wait 5 hours for the bus to Rama. 6 hours in the bus. Then another 3 hours of sleeping in the bus before we could take the other boat to Bluefields. We could have just continued on with the 9 hour ferry to the Corn Islands but I couldn´t even keep my eyes open. Bluefields is interesting. Not the nicest town. Checked out a really sketchy hotel then thankfully found another one that is cheaper. Still a little sketch though. My bed only has a fitted sheet, which is fine because its so damn hot. But it has holes in it and there are a bunch of hairs on the bed, the pillow will not be used. Rita pulled out her bamboo mat thing for her tent and put that on her bed. I put my scarf on mine. Then laying there all you can here is the scampering of something crawling on the ceiling. There was some weird chripping and Rita asked if it was birds or rats. I said birds, pretty beautiful, friendly birds. Then we laughed ourselves to sleep on our rock hard beds.